Why is there no mouse flavored cat food?

sliceofphan:

rachminuit:
wildestdreamsclifford:
ohhello-boop-boop:
I’ve made a terrible mistake
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO MUCH ?
LOOK AT IT CRAWLING
that last one is my during school

(via firedrill)

starlitastronaut:

@ august please be a little gentle with me I’m so tired

(via agentsouthdakota)

(via toodopetoexist)

rexuality:

OMG. So I was walking back to my apartment and I heard some footsteps and I turned around and there was this guy running straight for me. I started panicking thinking he wanted to wear my skin as a dress. He gets closer and sees me, looking startled. And then he goes, “OMG I DIDN’T SEE YOU I’M SO SORRY. I WAS RUNNING BECAUSE I’M SCARED OF THE DARK.”

(via agentsouthdakota)

monticellomarshmallow:

Intrusive thoughts: do it Bill. Throw the big red ballon at your wife.
Bill: Holy shit no. I can’t do such a thing it would a national embarrassment
Intrusive thoughts: Do it. Hit her. It will be the funniest thing to happen on television in 30 years.
Bill: No, why would I do something like that?
Intrusive thoughts: you gotta

(via cabaretcreek)

nasa-official:

how can you not think space is cool???? how can you not look at the sky and get completely fucked up thinking about it???? how can you think science is boring???????

(via allteeensrelate)

astrocyte:

fire, wind, water, mold. long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

(via allteeensrelate)

futurefurnace:

please serve her she is very hungry she walked an hour just to get here she has 8 children

(via swarnpert)

kawaiipiranha:

(via grawly)

straight-outta-hobbiton:

inkstained-unicorn:
angel-gidget:
kiragecko:
vistakai:
People keep saying, “what if men did what you did to ghostbusters but the other way around!!!!!” but 1) You can’t. There isn’t one major blockbuster from the past 30 years with enough girls to do that with, and 2) Don’t assume that I wouldn’t completely support an all male cheetah girls reboot
Um. All Male Josie and the Pussycats. Can you imagine?
All-male Charlie’s Angels including the slow sexy upward pans of the camera, pointlessly open shirts, and skintight catsuits. Our heroes must pose as masseuses, belly dancers, and more to seduce female CEOs, senators, and heads of security while constantly proving their loyalty to Charlie who is voiced by Lucy Liu.
Yes to all of these.
all-male Mean Girls with absolutely no plot deviance. Just a big muscley guy explaining that on Wednesdays, they wear pink.

(via i-ship-it-for-the-bitches)

(via liveschlong)

patrik-star:

that looks like the toilet plunger i threw out yesterday
that aint no toilet plunger that heres an antique its a umm a errm a 17th century souffle you see
man was i using mine wrong, how much?
5 bucks
i only got 7
DEAL!
patrick star you are one smart shopper

(via i-ship-it-for-the-bitches)

automatically:

when you’re last picked at dodgeball in gym class

(via allteeensrelate)

humorking:

my hobbies include looking at text posts and wondering how i didn’t think of them first

(via firedrill)